thecalmone | Array 1: [Video/Action New Bark]

[To any onlookers, the vision that greeted them when the camera turned on was likely something that was square between hilarious and pathetic. Alphonse would never blame anyone for this idea, given that his attire was a horrific mix of every stitch of clothing, sans the extra underthings, he could cobble together to put on between his bag and what he woke up in.

It looked ridiculous, fit awkwardly, and overall was kind of sad. What was the monstrosity he was wearing that would garner such a reaction? It was a white waist cloth that went well down his shins and had the straps wrapped around his waist twice, with a far far too small blue kimono tucked over his shoulders in an attempt to have a shirt, and which was only being held in place by the green breeder's apron tied over the whole thing. Basically, the only thing he was wearing that remotely looked like it fit was the apron, and the only reason that he even managed to get the kimono on as far as he had was the fact that he was absurdly skinny.

Unhealthily absurdly skinny. But that was very much not his fault, and he raked his scraggly waist length hair back behind his shoulders as he finally spoke, voice soft and tone polite, if highly embarrassed.]

Hello everyone, I have to admit that in spite of reading over the materials given to me I really have no idea where I should go. I also, ah, am badly in need of some clothing that fits, and would like to know if anyone has seen a blond with the same coloration as myself? He tends to wear a lot of red...

If you can address any of these concerns I would be very very thankful.

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[This must be...one of those weird other world things. It has to be.]

I don't know what was happening that I'd be miniature, but it sure hasn't happened to me here. What the hell are you talking about?

Edited 2013-06-26 23:49 (UTC)

[EVEN MORE CONFUSED NOW. Have him making approximations about your true form's size with his hands now.]

You know, when you don't have a stone, you're like this big, with ten little legs, and teeth, and fit int he jaw we gave to Mei to take back to Xing?

When you're not, er, you know. The other shape or this one.

[And so the loop of confusion continues. If Envy hadn't spent the past year and a half learning that the alternate world people keep showing up from was completely insane, it would be worse.]

[But seriously, what the hell goes on over there.]

I haven't looked like that in my whole life! You've got me confused with another Envy.

There are two different versions of Amestris, and you're from the other one.

I have never looked like that. [BECAUSE IT BORE REPEATING. Ugh, why would he ever want to look like some ten legged little toothy thing.]

Edited 2013-06-27 00:20 (UTC)

[Excuse him that he doesn't look like he believes you.]

I get that you wouldn't want to look like that, you weren't exactly happy about it. Any more than you were happy to be seen when you had all... the heads and things on your body.

I just want to know why you don't now.

But you're saying that isn't even you?

[...heads and things all over his body.]

[Heads and things all over his body. Envy cannot even with this information.]

That's right, not me. I don't know why any version of me would turn into something like that. Or the one with the heads, whatever you mean by that.

[Opinion of other self dropping even lower...]

And if you don't want to take my word for it, you can ask any of the Amestrians who've been here for a while, there are two different worlds. Same names and faces, different everything else. [He wouldn't be this straightforward about it if he didn't suddenly want to distance himself from other Envy as quickly as possible.]

[How do you think Alphonse felt seeing it?!]

I... think that was your default form actually. You know, the natural one you started in? [But he'll be nice and consider the fact you might not be lying about it not being you.] He really seemed to hate it...

And I meant, heads, parts of bodies, just... sticking out of him. He was normally huge.

[Well then. Suddenly his own true form doesn't seem so terrible after all.]

I can guarantee you that's not what my true form looks like.

.....

........

In that case what does it look like? [So sorry Envy, did you think he wouldn't ask?]

[Envy pauses a moment, then a smirk starts slowly spreading over his face. Can't keep him down for long.]

You know, I don't think you really want to know what it looks like.

....

I doubt it can be more horrifying than anything I've already seen you look like.

[HE BELIEVES THIS TO BE SO.]

[He laughs, and it's not a nice sound. Yeah, Envy's definitely recovered from his surprise.]

I don't know. There's seeing a monster, and then there's seeing a monster that's a lot closer to you than you thought it was.

But I'll tell you more another time. I've talked to you just about as much as I can stand.

Have fun stumbling around Johto. While you still can, anyway.

[It's an almost entirely empty threat, but hey, Al doesn't have to know that. And with that, Envy hangs up.]

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